q&a with them.

"Two YouTube video posts in a row??" you say?

Yeah, I'm on the YouTube kick.

=)

-----------------------------------------------

Jeff and Alyssa.

One of the cutest newly-married couples out there.

Here is a Q&A session that they did on Relationships and Dating.

Just them, sitting on a couch in their living room.

They totally had some bomb-diggity things to share.

It's one of the best 29 minutes-worth of watching that you will see today.

Enjoy.

Oh yeah.

Check out some of Jeff's incredible poems:

Topics include...

Sexual Healing

Sex, Marriage & Fairytales

The Greatest Artist of All Time

Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter Seven

 Here is the last chapter in the book.... I hope you have enjoyed these little excerpts and have gleaned something from them as I have. I have really enjoyed reading all of Leslie's books. I hope you will consider getting comfortable in a easy chair, with a cup of tea in hand, and read the entire book, Answering the Guy Questions....

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Chapter Seven
Fairy-Tale Love Stories

 In a modern world ravaged by mindless sex and mediocre marriages, achieving a fairy-tale love story is no small accomplishment. The enemy of our souls seems to be extra aggressive these days in his attempts to ruin beautiful romances before they even begin. It makes sense, if you think about it. When relationships are built upon God's perfect pattern, they lead to strong, healthy, Christ-centered marriages. Strong, Christ-centered marriages lead to strong Christ-centered families. And strong, Christ-centered families breed strong, Christ-centered churches and communities. Strong, Christ-centered churches and communities progress the kingdom of God and wage war on the kingdom of darkness. So it's no wonder Satan wants to destroy the beauty of God-scripted romance.

Building a romance God's way is not a formula. God works differently in different people. However there are certain principles that always govern a Christ-centered relationship. If you truly build your life and love story around these principles, you can be certain you'll experience a beautiful romance and avoid the heartache so common in our modern times.

Principle One: Keep Christ at the Center
Your romance with Christ is not supposed to be a stand-in until you finally meet the man you'll marry. Your romance with Christ is meant to be the lifelong passion of your heart and soul. Your earthy love story should pale in comparison to your love story with Christ--not just during your single years, but everyday for the rest of your life. And if it ever comes down to a choice between Christ and your future husband, Jesus Christ must always come first.

Principle Two: Vigilantly Protect Purity
The reason we don't understand the importance of purity in because we don't understand the significance of the marriage covenant. A wedding isn't merely a ceremony in which you verbally commit to love each other for the rest of your lives. A wedding is a sacred exchange--a holy covenant in which two lives become one. Until you have entered into that covenant, you are still individuals--no matter how committed you might be to the relationship. Once you enter the sacred covenant, you are no longer two individuals, but "one flesh." Then and only then are you free to enjoy each other's bodies in an intimate way.
If you engage in sensual touch prior to entering that sacred covenant, you dishonor God's perfect design and leave yourselves wide open for the enemy to ravage the beauty and nobility of your relationship.

Principle Three: Experience God's Restoration
God-scripted love stories are not just for those who have never compromised. In fact, the very reason that Christ sacrificed everything for us was to offer us the chance to be restored, washed clean, and given a hope and a future.
If you feel that you've "gone too far" to experience a truly pure and beautiful God-scripted love story, let me assure you that it's never too late to be restored and made new by His amazing cleansing blood.

~Leslie Ludy

Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter Six



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Chapter Six
Code of Conduct

The main points covered in this chapter were:

How do I get to know a guy in a Christ-honoring way?
1. Engage in Christ-honoring Conversation
2. Show Decorum in Your Body Language
a. Anything that you wouldn't do with another guy after marriage is something that you shouldn't do with another guy before marriage.

What should I do when I'm attracted to a guy?
1. Give it to God
2. Guard Your Thought Life
3. Don't Act Differently Around Him

How do I respond to a guy who shows interest in me?
1. Pray and Seek God's Help
2. Get Godly Council, Prayer, and Perspective from Older Adults 
3. Be Guarded and God Directed

Remember, God cares more about this area in your life than even you do! A life built around Jesus Christ is the best solution for any guy question you could ever face.

~Leslie Ludy


To get the whole picture, go here.



Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter Five

I only scraped the top of this chapter...I would encourage you to go buy this book of Leslie's. That way, you can find out all about being a Princess of Purity.... :P

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Chapter Five

Becoming a Princess of Purity

The problems of lust, perversion, and sexual addiction can seem overwhelming when you take a look at the state of modern manhood. But there are plenty of practical ways that we as young ladies can help guys overcome the sexual pitfalls that are so prevalent in today's world. We must remember that society's sexual problems are not just a result of modern guys. Girls are huge contributors. We shouldn't just point the finger of blame at the opposite sex and sit around complaining about how many guys are sexually warped. Rather, we should diligently pray that the sexual climate of our culture would realign with God's pattern. And then, by His enabling grace, we should do everything that lies within our power to help that dream become a reality.

Here are some practical ways we can begin...

1. Dress with Dignity

a. Showing Skin- Chest, thighs, stomach--these might seem harmless areas to show off, but if you were married and wanted to stay that way, you wouldn't allow another guy to touch you in any of those places. So why would you allow another guy to have the privilege of looking at what is meant for your husband's pleasure alone? When you keep your future husband's feelings at the forefront of your mind when deciding what to wear, the issue of how much skin to show becomes far less complicated.

b. Showing Figure- ...Remember, even though you may get male attention by wearing form-fitting clothes, a true warrior-poet is longing for a woman who showcases the true beauty of Christ instead of the cheap counterfeit of the culture. If you dress to honor your future husband, then a warrior-poet won't have to avert his eyes when you walk into the room. You'll be like a breathe of fresh air to his soul. He'll notice the light of Christ in your eyes and the radiance of your smile rather than being distracted by the outline of your body.

c. Dressing like a Lady- ...Don't think of modest dressing as giving up being feminine or attractive. Think of it as exchanging the culture's cheap counterfeit of feminine appeal for the stunning, God-designed version of female allure. Warrior-poet men aren't just looking for women who purposely dress down their feminine beauty or hide behind drab, tent-like clothes. They desire to see young women who exude a loveliness and graceful feminine beauty that flows from the inside out; a feminine dignity that is both modest and stunningly, refreshingly beautiful. Modest dressing isn't a mere obligation so that we don't cause guys to stumble. Rather, it's one of our most powerful tools in restoring respect, dignity, and nobility to modern femininity...

d. Swimsuits- ...as far as I am concerned, the same standards apply to swimwear as to the rest of our wardrobe. If we are showing off parts of our skin or figure that are meant only for our husband, then we are not dressing as a set-apart women....

2. Praise Princely Behavior

...When a guy realizes that a woman notices and applauds him when he does something Christ-like, he is far more likely to want to cultivate and repeat that behavior. Even if a guy isn't quite up to warrior-poet standards, allow God to show you the things in his life that are of a Christ-like pattern. Then let the guy know that you appreciate what you see in that area of his life. Chances are he'll start doing it more often. Plus, he'll awaken to the fact that he has the potential to be noble. Most guys just need to be told that they have princely attributes, and then they are more eager to cultivate them....

3. Get God's Heart Toward Lust and Pornography

a. Pray- When you see a guy stumble in sexual sin, don't waste time by worrying about it, gossipping about it, or being discouraged by it. Rather, pour all of your emotion out to God in passionate heart-felt prayer. Remember, the "effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man (or woman) avails much" (James 5:16).

b. Hate What God Hates- Yes, it is okay to be repulsed and shocked by pornography and sexual sin. In fact, if we don't hate the things that God hates, we don't possess the mind of Christ. You don't need to soften your response toward sexual sin to keep guys from feeling guilty or condemned. When young women finally begin to take a stand against sexual perversion, guys will be forced to take this area of their lives more seriously. Don't give into the pressure to just chuckle and shrug it off when a guy makes a sexual comment or talks  about his lustful habits. Let your reaction state that you are grieving for his wandering heart. Whether you respond in silence (which can send a very loud message!) or make a quiet comment like, "I believe that you can be a better man than that," allow God's Spirit to direct your response. Make sure that you respond with the love of Christ and not just your own selfish anger or hurt. As it says in 1 Corinthians 13, love believes all things. Love doesn't just call a person on their sin and leave them there. Rather, love speaks truth and then believes in the power of God to set us free from sin.  

c. Guard Your Own Heart- To keep oneself unspotted from the world means to remain completely unstained by corruption and pollution. The more of the world's pollution we allow into our minds and hearts, the more susceptible we are to the entrapment of mental perversion and lust.... Most young women I have talked to found that their first temptation toward lust or pornography came from movies, TV shows, or music they were exposed to. When we allow the warped mentalities of Hollywood to shape our perspective and fill our minds with impure images and attitudes, we open our minds wide for impurity to waltz right in and make itself at home. One of the best ways to guard your heart, keep yourself unspotted from the world, and remove your foot from evil is to eliminate worldly images and messages from entering your mind....

Be aggressive and ruthless in removing all that stands in the way of God's fullness for you as His set-apart princess. Every step you take out of darkness and into His marvelous light will be more than worth it!    

~Leslie Ludy

Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter Four

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Chapter Four

Heroic Womanhood

Christ-built femininity is a force to be reckoned with. When we allow the purity and power of Almighty God to radically transform our entire approach to womanhood, the men of our culture will step back in wonder. Every godly guy I've talked with has told me that when he encounters a young woman who is wholly consumed with Jesus Christ, she captivates him far more than even the most beautiful supermodels ever could.

Though most modern guys might appear to want women who are aggressive and easy to get, this kind of femininity is not what will capture the heart of a true warrior-poet. God designed men to diligently and valiantly pursue and woman. Guys are naturally intrigued by a woman with mystique--a woman who isn't willing to auction her heart and body to whomever passes by. if a man actually has to work to win a woman's heart, he will be far more likely to cherish and appreciate the gift he's labored so hard for. On the other hand, if a woman throws herself at him, though he might initially respond, he won't have much respect or appreciation for such easy prey, and he will never learn how to tenderly cherish the treasure of her heart.

Don't divulge all your deepest secrets, longings, fears, and desires right off the bat. Let God direct you in the gentle opening of you heart and gradual unveiling of the deepest treasures of your soul. Allow trust to build slowly and gradually. Share more of your heart with him the more he showcases the nature of Christ in his interaction with you. Allow him to seek out the inner workings of your heart. Maintain a sense of feminine mystery and guard the sacred things for sacred moments. This applies to both emotional guardedness and physical purity. Eric and I didn't hold hands until we knew we were in a relationship headed toward marriage. We didn't exchange the words "I love you" until the night of our engagement. And we didn't kiss until our wedding day. It may sound miserable and restrictive, but it was truly like a fairy tale. Because we kept sacred things sacred, it was mysterious, exciting, and beautiful--completely different than the careless, unromantic love stories so common in our modern times....

...even if you have been living far from the path of heroic femininity, Jesus Christ is ready to shape you into His likeness, starting today. So don't wait another moment before yielding to His perfect way. You'll never regret such a decision.

~Leslie Ludy

Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter Three

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Chapter Three

Unlocking Your Feminine Power

As women, we have a far greater power over the course of masculinity than most of us realize. We can use our femininity to influence men toward strength or toward weakness. Unfortunately, most of us don't use our feminine power correctly. We nag, criticize, complain, manipulate, and seduce--hoping that our self-built techniques will somehow work some magic and turn a frog into a prince. But when selfishness is our motivation for changing guys, we only end up fueling the problem and leading men into even greater weakness. Just like there are counterfeit versions of masculinity, there are counterfeit forms of femininity--twisted imitations of God's original design for womanhood. Sadly, most of us are very well-practiced in the counterfeit versions.

Let's take a closer look at some of the most common ones.....

one. arrogant femininity

...arrogant femininity in not Christ-built femininity. It's a twisted counterfeit of our feminine power--using our words to paralyze and defeat men rather than set them free to become valiant warrior-poets. As women, we are created to build men up, not tear them down. Rather, it means that we motivate guys to raise up to the standard of Christ through words and attitudes of encouragement instead of disgust.

two. nagging femininity

As we allow the Spirit of God to transform us into radiant examples of Christ's love, guys will be transfixed rather than turned off by our behavior and attitude. They will be won over to the ways of Christ simply by observing the beauty of Christ that exudes from us. A nagging or criticizing spirit quenches the power of Christ's Spirit within us, but a quiet, prayerful, reverent spirit brings true Christ-built feminine beauty to the forefront. When guys come face to face with stunning Christ-built radiance, they can't help but evaluate their own behavior in light of it...

three. seductive femininity

We cannot glorify God by flirting, flaunting our body, or using our seductive power to win the approval of guys. We don't draw attention to Christ through selfish manipulation and sex-appeal--that only draws attention to ourselves and brings guys down. If we want to see a positive change in the animalistic attitude of today's men, it's time we stop catering to the problem. It's time we begin to live as if we actually are the holy temple of the Most High God.

four. controlling femininity

...for a guy to become the warrior-poet that God intends him to be, he must be set free to be a man. In a marriage that means he's allowed to be the leader. He's given the position of final decision maker. It means that his wife allows him to guide and direct their relationship, their family, and the spiritual climate of their home. That does not mean that the woman has no say in any of these areas. On the contrary, a women's input and influence in a marriage and family are crucial parts of God's design. Whenever a woman is told to "get in her place" and given no voice whatsoever, that's a very clear sign that things are grossly out of balance. However, when a woman usurps authority over a man, diminishes his voice, and manipulates him into doing everything her way, that's an equally unhealthy picture. 

It may be hard on your fleshly, selfish side to give up control and let a man take the lead. But in the end, it's far more romantic. After all, what girl dreams of being a gritty, iron-fisted princess who rescues and trembling, wimpy, weak-minded guy from the dragon, carries him away to her kingdom, and tells him exactly how to think and act from that day on? Doesn't sound much like happily-ever-after material to me! In our hearts, we don't want a "yes, dear, whatever you say, dear" kind of guy. We want a strong man who we can admire and respect. So let's not rob men of their masculinity in a childish battle for control.

Don't underestimate what God can do through one young woman who stands for His Ways. Warrior-poets can be awakened in this generation. So why not let the revival begin with you?

~Leslie Ludy 

Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter Two

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Chapter Two

Warrior-Poet Manhood

God created marriage--and everything leading up to it--to be a picture of heaven on earth. he created men to be a picture of the heroic manhood of Christ. He wants no less for you. No matter what the culture says, He is asking you not to settle.

So what exactly is a warrior-poet?

A warrior-poet has made a sacred covenant with his holy King. He has chosen to deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Christ. He no longer lives to please his own selfish desires. He lives to please his Lord. He is not seeking to draw attention to himself but to draw all eyes to Jesus. As John the Baptist said, "He must increase, I must decrease" (John 3:30). That's the motto of the warrior-poet's life. 

Christian young men are a dime a dozen. There are even many that seem to be a cut above the rest when it comes to their Christian values. But Christian values aren't the ingredients that make a true warrior-poet. A true warrior-poet emerges only when a man makes the decision to lay down self and take up Christ; to exchange his very life for the indwelling life of Jesus Christ and let all of his own dreams, desires, pursuits, and pleasures be swallowed up in an all-consuming passion for the Prince of his soul.

The best way to find a Christ-like warrior-poet is to stop searching for one. Focus on your intimate love-relationship with Jesus Christ, and He will be more than faithful to bring a Christ-built man into your life in His own perfect time and way. It's amazing how God brings like-minded men and women together when we actually step back and give Him the chance to work.

Many young women ask me how high their standards for a guy should be. Is a warrior-poet one who perfectly reflects the manhood of Jesus Christ? What if there are still evidences of selfishness or immaturity in his life? Does that mean he's not the real thing?

The mark of a warrior-poet does not lie in his perfection, but in the direction of his life. Is he aiming for the world or aiming for Christ? Is he eagerly pursuing more of Christ or is he preoccupied with himself? If his life's direction is pointed toward "less of me and more of Him," then he has the warrior-poet blood within his veins, even if God has not yet rasped and refined all the rough edges of his masculinity. If he has made Christ the center of his existence, then Christ will be more faithful to smooth away the wrinkles and refine him more and more into His divine likeness.

Set-apart women, take heart--Christ-built warrior-poets do exist in today's world! In fact, you have a very important role in raising up even more of them. We, as women, are not helpless victims to the discouraging trends of modern manhood. If we are willing, we can actually become instruments of change and allow God's Spirit to work in and through us to convert mediocre men into the triumphant knights whom we've always dreamed of.

~Leslie Ludy

Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter One

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Chapter One

Counterfeit Manhood

So how are we, as women, supposed to respond to the vast cavern between the righteous standard of Christ and the disturbing reality of modern masculinity?  Thus far, we haven't been given the right answer. I have read several books and magazine articles for Christian women that seek to help us live with guys' lust problems in an understanding, no-nagging, noncritical way. "We as women can't possibly understand a man's intense sex-drive," they exhort us, "and it's time we stop making them feel like criminals for just doing what comes naturally to them."

Criticism, nagging, or heaping guilt upon men, to be sure, will not help a man battling sex addictions and perversion. But neither will shrugging our shoulders and saying "guys will be guys."

What modern masculinity needs is a serious shot of the saving, redeeming, transforming, delivering power of Jesus Christ.

And as women, it's time we realize that we play a significant role in seeing that come about. if you ever have been discouraged, disgusted, depressed, or even defeated by the state of modern masculinity, this book can infuse you with vision, hope, and a practical means of doing something about it.

The problems of modern manhood are not to big for God. He has a huge vision for His men--the very standard of Jesus Christ. And if you are willing, you can be a part of one of the most amazing, God-inspired reformations in history--a radical return of manhood as God intended it to be, in all its glory, strength, nobility, and honor.

~Leslie Ludy 

Answering the Guy Questions: Intro

Another book by Leslie Ludy is titled Answering the Guy Questions. It has so much "good stuff" included in it, that I thought I would share. In the introduction, Leslie writes:

Even though this is a book about guys, I want to emphasize that Jesus Christ, not guys, must always remain the center of our existence. When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guys no longer dominate our thoughts, our actions, and our decisions. Rather, the Lover of our soul captivates us so completely that every guy we meet clearly sees that Jesus is, and always will be, the number one Prince of our heart.

Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you'll always be looking to mere men to meet needs only He can fill.

When you become consumed with Jesus Christ, dealing with guys becomes far less confusing!

Set-apart femininity can change the world. May this book inspire you to fully realize this reality.