Answering the Guy Questions: Chapter Five

I only scraped the top of this chapter...I would encourage you to go buy this book of Leslie's. That way, you can find out all about being a Princess of Purity.... :P

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Chapter Five

Becoming a Princess of Purity

The problems of lust, perversion, and sexual addiction can seem overwhelming when you take a look at the state of modern manhood. But there are plenty of practical ways that we as young ladies can help guys overcome the sexual pitfalls that are so prevalent in today's world. We must remember that society's sexual problems are not just a result of modern guys. Girls are huge contributors. We shouldn't just point the finger of blame at the opposite sex and sit around complaining about how many guys are sexually warped. Rather, we should diligently pray that the sexual climate of our culture would realign with God's pattern. And then, by His enabling grace, we should do everything that lies within our power to help that dream become a reality.

Here are some practical ways we can begin...

1. Dress with Dignity

a. Showing Skin- Chest, thighs, stomach--these might seem harmless areas to show off, but if you were married and wanted to stay that way, you wouldn't allow another guy to touch you in any of those places. So why would you allow another guy to have the privilege of looking at what is meant for your husband's pleasure alone? When you keep your future husband's feelings at the forefront of your mind when deciding what to wear, the issue of how much skin to show becomes far less complicated.

b. Showing Figure- ...Remember, even though you may get male attention by wearing form-fitting clothes, a true warrior-poet is longing for a woman who showcases the true beauty of Christ instead of the cheap counterfeit of the culture. If you dress to honor your future husband, then a warrior-poet won't have to avert his eyes when you walk into the room. You'll be like a breathe of fresh air to his soul. He'll notice the light of Christ in your eyes and the radiance of your smile rather than being distracted by the outline of your body.

c. Dressing like a Lady- ...Don't think of modest dressing as giving up being feminine or attractive. Think of it as exchanging the culture's cheap counterfeit of feminine appeal for the stunning, God-designed version of female allure. Warrior-poet men aren't just looking for women who purposely dress down their feminine beauty or hide behind drab, tent-like clothes. They desire to see young women who exude a loveliness and graceful feminine beauty that flows from the inside out; a feminine dignity that is both modest and stunningly, refreshingly beautiful. Modest dressing isn't a mere obligation so that we don't cause guys to stumble. Rather, it's one of our most powerful tools in restoring respect, dignity, and nobility to modern femininity...

d. Swimsuits- ...as far as I am concerned, the same standards apply to swimwear as to the rest of our wardrobe. If we are showing off parts of our skin or figure that are meant only for our husband, then we are not dressing as a set-apart women....

2. Praise Princely Behavior

...When a guy realizes that a woman notices and applauds him when he does something Christ-like, he is far more likely to want to cultivate and repeat that behavior. Even if a guy isn't quite up to warrior-poet standards, allow God to show you the things in his life that are of a Christ-like pattern. Then let the guy know that you appreciate what you see in that area of his life. Chances are he'll start doing it more often. Plus, he'll awaken to the fact that he has the potential to be noble. Most guys just need to be told that they have princely attributes, and then they are more eager to cultivate them....

3. Get God's Heart Toward Lust and Pornography

a. Pray- When you see a guy stumble in sexual sin, don't waste time by worrying about it, gossipping about it, or being discouraged by it. Rather, pour all of your emotion out to God in passionate heart-felt prayer. Remember, the "effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man (or woman) avails much" (James 5:16).

b. Hate What God Hates- Yes, it is okay to be repulsed and shocked by pornography and sexual sin. In fact, if we don't hate the things that God hates, we don't possess the mind of Christ. You don't need to soften your response toward sexual sin to keep guys from feeling guilty or condemned. When young women finally begin to take a stand against sexual perversion, guys will be forced to take this area of their lives more seriously. Don't give into the pressure to just chuckle and shrug it off when a guy makes a sexual comment or talks  about his lustful habits. Let your reaction state that you are grieving for his wandering heart. Whether you respond in silence (which can send a very loud message!) or make a quiet comment like, "I believe that you can be a better man than that," allow God's Spirit to direct your response. Make sure that you respond with the love of Christ and not just your own selfish anger or hurt. As it says in 1 Corinthians 13, love believes all things. Love doesn't just call a person on their sin and leave them there. Rather, love speaks truth and then believes in the power of God to set us free from sin.  

c. Guard Your Own Heart- To keep oneself unspotted from the world means to remain completely unstained by corruption and pollution. The more of the world's pollution we allow into our minds and hearts, the more susceptible we are to the entrapment of mental perversion and lust.... Most young women I have talked to found that their first temptation toward lust or pornography came from movies, TV shows, or music they were exposed to. When we allow the warped mentalities of Hollywood to shape our perspective and fill our minds with impure images and attitudes, we open our minds wide for impurity to waltz right in and make itself at home. One of the best ways to guard your heart, keep yourself unspotted from the world, and remove your foot from evil is to eliminate worldly images and messages from entering your mind....

Be aggressive and ruthless in removing all that stands in the way of God's fullness for you as His set-apart princess. Every step you take out of darkness and into His marvelous light will be more than worth it!    

~Leslie Ludy