Joyfully at Home: Chapter Nine

Overcoming a False View of Self

On this subject, Jasmine Baucham writes:

I believe that, many times, we as young women become discontent in singleness because we get tired of our sin natures. We chalk up every frustration we have in our lives now, and imagine that marriage will reverse that frustration. This is somewhat linked to our false view of husbands, yes, but I believe that it goes much deeper than that: We have a false view of ourselves. 

We tend to view marriage and men as something we can throw together on an assembly line. I'm this way, so he'll be that way. I like this, so he'll do that, I don't like this about my life, so when I'm married, life will be this way...And if we can get the perfect combination, the sins we struggle with in singleness will vanish in the light of love, compatibility  and planning. Because everyone knows that the sins we struggle with now aren't our faults; they're caused by our surroundings. A change of pace would eradicate them completely, yes?

In doing so, we miss the big picture:

Marriage entails sanctification.

Which means that while, in a sense, your husband might be the corresponding half that will make you whole (to wax a bit poetic), we can't expect the pieces to fit together perfectly, because we're flawed human beings who, in every season of our lives, will experience trials that will drive us to the cross. If our marriage could remedy every sin and discontent in our lives, we wouldn't need the gospel. Marriage does not bring automatic righteousness. We will not suddenly wake up one morning manifesting the fruit of the spirit just because we've said our wedding vows. 

Growth and character are things that we can pursue right now, in singleness, and things that we should be pursuing. And pursuing them will keep us so very busy that we will have little time to pine over Prince Charming knocking on our doors. In fact, pursuing them will make us much more capable and realistic wives if Prince Charming should come around.

....Instead of waiting for marriage to straighten us out, let's endeavor to seek the Lord's will now as He grows and matures us, by His grace. Single or married, it's something we all need to do! The gospel is the only "cure-all" there is--I'm so grateful we serve a sovereign King who will bring the work to completion (Phil. 1:6). 

check it out.