Waiting on Him...

The day was November 23^rd, my 10^th birthday. I remembered the night well. A special night had been planned for me, just me! Mom and Dad had reserved the evening for the three of us to have dinner at a elaborate restaurant, while my brother and sister stayed with my grandparents. I anticipated the evening with enthusiasm!

After arriving at the restaurant, Mom and Dad began talking to me about remaining pure as I waited on my prince charming. They had also suggested, as I was growing older, my first kiss would be a special gift. They encouraged me to save that kiss for my husband on our wedding day.

At one moment during the dinner, I remember asking my mom for a Tylenol. She told me, “Okay, you can get it out of my purse.” I looked in her purse and there it was lying among the other purse items, a tiny wrapped package. I looked at Mom and Dad. They were both smiling. After confirming that the gift was for me, I pulled it out and opened the small package.

It was a little ring box which contained the most beautiful, gold ring displaying a petite diamond on top. I was pleasantly surprised. Mom and Dad told me this ring would become a symbol of our evening together, representing the promise I had made to them and to my future husband. It would become a constant reminder that I was to protect the unique and irreplaceable gifts God had given me - that were intended for my husband, and him only, on my wedding day.

I have been blessed to live in a Christian home my entire life. This was not the first time I had a conversation with my parents about purity. I have always acknowledged that saving my first kiss would further delay the sexual act and help prevent the hasty giving of myself emotionally to a guy.

It makes me sad to think that in today’s world that so many young ladies are not virgins anymore. When others see my purity ring and ask what it symbolizes, I consider it a privilege to explain to them the promises that I am keeping. Some find it shocking and hard to believe. But, I look forward to the day that I can present myself to my husband as an anticipated “unwrapped gift.” 

Another representation of my purity ring is in the area of my relationships with guys. I have made the commitment to replace dating with old-fashioned courting. Courting isn’t a bad word, it is actually a very safe word. My definition of courting is getting to know someone in the company of family or friends. This is another principle that I adopted in my teen years.

I want my parents involved 100 % in the process of me choosing a mate. Many of my friends’ parents do not even know who their children are associating with, much less, dating. I don’t want that to be my circumstance. I want it to be a family affair, even with the brother and sister involved. J It can actually be a lot of fun! Having an older brother that participated in the courtship process before he married his bride has given me a positive view of what it can be like. I have also come to realize how important boundaries are in a relationship. I have read numerous stories of courtships. Most courtships are adapted to their personal expectations, but most happily choose the safety of physical boundaries and getting to know each other within a family setting versus being alone in a dating situation.

One of my greatest struggles is remaining content as I wait for my special someone. Handing the pen over to Christ and allowing Him to script my love story is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. As I watch other couples walking hand-in-hand, I occasionally feel discouraged. However, I constantly remind myself that God has the perfect love story planned for me. In my opinion, shuffling from guy to guy just for the sake of companionship would not be part of His perfect plan.

So, what’s a girl to do? Taking advantage of this phase in our lives to be an encouragement to our male friends in the faith, would be beneficial to all those involved. As I treat them as my brothers, “with all purity,” I can strengthen them spiritually and display to them characteristics of a true female friendship (1 Timothy 5:1,2). The characteristics of flirtatious girls are described in Proverbs 7. This type of conduct should be avoided, as it creates hardships on our guy friends to remain pure gentlemen. As we adopt the practice of building our male friends up in their everyday accomplishments, instead of seeking them as a potential mate, they will appreciate our chaste behavior. If our actions are mature in dealing with our guy friends, the more respectful they will treat us.

It may seem difficult remaining pure and spotless in a polluted world, but we can be the one who goes against the flow. We should not be bashful about reclaiming a commitment to purity. Saving your special kiss, allowing your parents to guide you through a healthy relationship and treating guys with brotherly kindness will persuade others to demonstrate a more perfect Christian walk. I pray that we all can live a life of purity…with no regrets.