"how are you?"
how many times do we ask this question a day?
"how are you?"
"oh, i'm fine."
how many times is asking the question "how are you?" an automatic thing when we come in contact with an individual?
do we really care?
truly care
about what is going on in the person's life that we just addressed with the question?
how many times do we accept the "i'm fine" answer and just carry on or walk away when we have the feeling that the person is not truly "fine"?
a few days ago, i was at an event and i saw someone that i knew.
we approached each other and happily greeted one another.
i had already begun the automatic routine of asking her, "how are you?" when she also ask the same question at the same time.
and we both, also at almost the exact time, answered, "i'm fine."
after walking away from the lady, it occurred to me:
i am in the habit of asking the famous question:
"how are you?"
and not. even. listening.
i asked the question with the mindset of it just being "routine" in the greeting process.
what if that lady was just searching for a person to pour her heart out to?
what if she was yearning for some "girl time" to be able to just talk?
this was a huge eye opener for me.
it made me think:
how many people in the world answer the typical "how are you" question with a typical "i'm fine" when really they're not?
what if they're really and truly hurting inside?
what if they are experiencing heartache and sorrow?
i know for me, it made me want to really look out for the feelings of the individual who answers,
"oh, i'm fine."
i want to stop and really listen to their answer instead of asking the question and hardly slowing my pace.
i want to stop and really listen to their answer instead of asking the question and hardly slowing my pace.
i want to be the kind of person who will be there...i want that person to know, truly know, that they can truthfully answer me in the way that they are really feeling.
i want to be able to be available.
to be able to comfort.
to be able to pray for.
to be able to laugh with.
to be able to rejoice with.
so truly, how are you?
remember,
you are loved and you are treasured.
xoxoxo.
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xoxoxo.
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3 says:
I think about this so often. I truly want to be someone that others want to give a truthful answer to!!! Thanks for linking up with the Faith and Fellowship blog hop! :-)
One thing I loved about Malaysia and also was shocked by is that when people ask, "How are you?" they mean it, and when you ask them, you better be prepared to really, truly hear about how their lives are going. I do miss that.
This is so true, it seems these days to put it simply, people. just. don't. care. Maybe some do, but we've just made it a habit not to bother people with our issues thinking that they just don't want to hear it.
Maybe if we try rephrasing what we say when we approach someone, it will make it so they have to say something besides the standard "I'm fine". So many times I have needed to just say what's really going on and be able to talk about it, but you're right, people are stuck in "how are you?"..."I'm fine" mode. Even with my husband it gets that way sometimes and I have to remind him not to just say "fine" when I ask how things went at work and such.
I noticed that about our foreign exchange students back in high school, they were so much more pleasant to talk to because it seemed that they actually cared about what you were saying and didn't pass it off as if it wasn't their problem. I believe that a society is in real trouble when we stop sincerely caring about each other.
I worry sometimes about people and their situations, people I don't even personally know, and my husband says they'll do what they have to do and you do what you have to do, but I really don't think it should be that way. I think it is perfectly normal to worry about other people's well being, because that's what sparks charity in our hearts and makes us want to help others right? and isn't that what we're supposed to be doing?
oh...I was browsing around looking at info on June bugs and I saw this
http://skreened.com/maternityshirts/expecting-a-little-june-bug
and thought of your sister and sis-in-law, aren't they due in June?...also there's a shirt on that site for people who are due in October and it says, NO, I Did Not Steal A Pumpkin. I thought that was hilarious and had to share it!!
Sorry for leaving a massive comment, I guess it's just what I do, I can't seem to break the habit.
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