things i learned in the south

Oh the joys of living in the south..... ;P 1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite'cha. 3) "Onced" and "Twiced" are words. 4) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. 5) "Fixinto" is one word. 6) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper... 7) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. 8) We do like a little tea with our sugar. 9) The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?" 10) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see... 11) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em. 12) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day. 13) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal. 14) You know what a "Dawg" is. 15) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car. 16) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco , ranch dressing, and ketchup. 17) The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football. 18) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. 19) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm." 20) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas. 21) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World." 22) Fried catfish is the other white meat. 23) Speed limit signs are "45mph if you want to." (emphasis added.) 24) Guys wear American Eagle t-shirts with Carhartt boots, in case they might have been labled "preppy". 25) You don't drive people to town, you carry 'em. 26) A siren goin' down the road is the highlight of the day, especially if you follow it to see who's "got caught". 27) John Deere, Cotton, and Browning are the fashion brands. 28) Men spend more money on their truck and 4-wheeler than they did on their house.